Friday, February 11, 2011

Penguin Society

The following images are proof that penguins had some form of society.

The warrior class:

The civilian class:

Those were just a few examples of penguin society before it was brutally destroyed, leaving penguins so utterly devastated they would never rise again.
Now, imagine if things hadn't turned out this way, penguins would be at least as advanced as humans. Could you imagine a cute little penguin as your boss or serving you your morning beverage at Tim Hortons? I certainly can.
Now, who do we have to blame that the world is not like this? You probably guessed it, squirrels, and humans unknowingly helped. With cartoons like Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers and Pingu, chipmunks were seen as awesome and cool, while penguins were seen as animals that live in the North, secluded and mostly uncivilized.
Penguins were about to come to us with the truth and try and form a unity of our two races, but alas they were so embarrassed they exiled themselves from any form of society. And all because some stupid squirrels decided to tell people to make a cartoon.
You may be thinking to yourself "Chip and Dale was about chipmunks, not squirrels!" Well there is one simple, reasonable explanation, they are both rodents, therefore very similar, squirrels thought it would be very clever to avoid blame (us knowing they hate the penguins!) and make chipmunks have the spotlight. Since they are both similar squirrels would share a small portion of the spotlight from children who don't know the difference.
Now, years later we may bask in our ignorance and penguins (having a shorter lifespan than us) have already worked their society out of their culture and have become what we have envisioned them to be. Simple uncivilized creatures with (like squirrels and most animals) no place in our modern society...boy are we wrong!
Just remember now, if you ever find yourself fortunate enough to be able to communicate with a penguin somehow, they are delicate creatures emotionally. I would honestly rather see us build a nice friendship with a penguin nation if we had the chance than ruin it once more.

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