Saturday, February 12, 2011

Back pain, bane of progress!

I know some of us, if not all of us have experienced bad back pain, the kind that no matter what you do hurts a hell of a lot.
Now, instead of complaining about "boo hoo my back hurts" think about all the things that haven't been accomplished BECAUSE of back pain.
For example, if penguins did not get back pain they may have been able to actually build buildings so we could have proof of their civilization! Back pain is hard to diagnose, wasting valuable time of doctor's and the patients they are treating. If people did not experience back pain they could be writing the next great literary work or working on getting our beloved penguins over here in Canada!
Although, back pain isn't all bad. It allows capitalistic organizations such as whoever owns Tylenol and Robax Platinum to make a killing by over charging on a combination of standard pain killers and muscle relaxants! I mean seriously, if it wasn't for the muscle relaxants the pills would be kind of useless, and there's no way 18 capsules of standard pain medicine and muscle relaxants costs 10 bucks more than 50-80 caplets of normal pain killers!
Now, if penguins had not been burdened with back pain they would be part of our society. Penguins are very fair business people and would more than likely happily sell us their pain killers for a modest profit.
I say we pull a Doc. Brown, turn a Delorian into a time machine and introduce early-era penguins to Tylenol back pain pills. Not only would it help get our beloved penguins into our society where they belong, but it would also make pain relief affordable.

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